Have you been caught out by an online dating cheat? I have, and can help you avoid that. As in most things, there are people around who are less than honest and can be seen to be dating cheats. By 'cheats' I mean people who describe a false history about themselves, claim to be single when they are not, and so on.
The very best cheats are very credible and can bluff the best of us. I have friends who have been 'conned' for many months by serial cheats. We have shared our online dating experiences and I understand what it is to find out that someone you are keen on turns out to be an online dating fraud. My tips can help you avoid that emotional investment and disappointment.
OK, so what about the tips for spotting these characters? None of these tips hold true in all cases, and you cannot easily tell if a genuinely single person is not interested in a long term relationship unless they say so (and assuming that is what you also want). The tips will help establish a pattern which will put you on your guard.
1. Tip #1 - Online Dating Phone Numbers
You have progressed past first email contact and start talking on the phone. Usually, a genuine man would usually offer his phone number, assuming that a lady may not want to disclose her number at an early stage. If the arrangement is always that the other person calls you, then that is a potential signal (whether the other person is a man or woman).
If they can only be called on their mobile phone or say that they don't have a regular landline phone then that could be another signal. Obviously, there are people today who genuinely do not have landline phone numbers, relying on mobile phones and Skype. So, why not Skype them at home in the evening (though of course you cannot be absolutely sure that they are at home). Did they give you their Skype ID?
2. Tip #2 - Telephone Talk Timing
Most working people cannot take personal calls at work (especially online dating calls), and that is fine. However, if you find that the other person is saying things like:
Only call me on Tuesdays and Thursdays... or I can't do evenings because mobile reception is bad at home (and don't have a landline)... or I'll call you on Friday at 8pm...and so on..
..then these are also signals of potential dishonesty.
3. Tip #3 - Where do we Meet?
Most often, the first one or two dates are on neutral territory. After that, people start travelling to each other's areas or towns. If there is reluctance on the part of the other person to meet you on their territory, then this could be a signal that not all is as stated in their online dating profile.
Have they given you their home address? You can test this by saying 'I'd like to see where you live'.
In Summary
These 3 key tips are powerful for identifying online dating cheats. There are others.
In spite of all this, most people are genuine, so enjoy your dating!
© 2010 Phil Marks
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